I wasn't prepared for the day my daughter started asking me about her private parts. I was in nursing school at the time, so I thought that being honest with her was better than making up some silly nicknames. I remember defending myself with my choice. "That's what it is, a vagina!" Actually, that was pretty idiotic considering I named her backside her booty. Booty is not exactly medical terminology. So, we had her vagina and her booty.
Then the backfire started.
I remember a phone call I had with my mother-in-law. I was informed that while Kaylie was at her house in the bathtub, she had gotten too much soap down there. She was complaining to Mimi about her vagina hurting just as Paw Paw was walking by. Apparently, he wasn't prepared to hear "vagina" coming from his toddler granddaughter.
"Well, that's what it is!" I told her. She agreed. I think she probably knew I’d learn my lesson later.
That wasn't the only vagina conversation I had with the in-laws. On a different occasion, I was picking Kaylie up when I was informed that she had gotten into ants by the pond with Paw Paw.
He tells me, "Yeah, I was getting ants off her shoes and feet when she started crying and saying that there was an ant biting her vagina. I told her, 'Umm, we need Mimi for that!' So I scooped her up and ran back to the house to Mimi."
I was beginning to think that we may need to come up with some nicknames for Kaylie. I was positive when Kaylie dropped the V word in the middle of the grocery store. I will never forget grocery shopping with my husband when Kaylie somehow fell flat on her butt and started crying.
I asked her, "Are you okay? Did you hurt your booty?"
She screamed in the middle of the freezer section, “NO, I HURT MY VAGINA!"
My jaw hit the floor. "SHH!!" I said, as I picked her up and tried to calm her crying. We tried to calm her down but it was no use. She complained loudly about her hurt vagina until we left the store.
I learned some things in that moment. I definitely should have given her vagina a nickname and I'm glad I didn't call her booty her anus! Children don't sugar coat things or whisper because they know that a toddler using the word vagina is a little distracting to adults in public. They call it like it is. Now I wonder if she has taught any other kids the V word.
Nicknames came when I got pregnant with my second child. I knew I needed to act quickly when we found out I was having a boy. Kaylie was three. I could just see her innocently talking about her brother's penis. I explained things to her, told her that mommy called her privates "Tee tee and too too" when I was young and she needed to think of what she wanted to nickname hers. I thought she would stick with them if she were involved in naming them. She liked it, so tee tee and too too it was.
She sticks to the nicknames for the most part, but I still think I might get in trouble later. I foresee either a call from a mad parent or a discussion with a teacher. When I told my mom we did nicknames, it turns out that “tee tee and too too” were my nicknames for pee pee and poo poo! I still got it wrong! But, you know, I'm just not up for another conversation about nicknaming your private parts. We will stick with what we got.
I’ll leave the boy stuff up to Daddy.
I'd love to hear from you. Leave me a comment about this article. Do your kids use nicknames for their private parts? What names do your kids use?
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